....

I'm lost, I don't know what to believe in anymore.....

Evolve ?

Hello...I'm writing this from my Mac's dashboard....A very handy tool, a press of a button, and a click of a mouse and you are free to type away...

Its funny how technology is making life very easy and safer for us....Its also funny how we, although much better than technology are capable of making errors in life....If we were technology, just imagine how perfect the world would've become. Every thing would have been in order, no loss of life, no wars...Just uniformity..

I guess being 'US' is what makes us 'humans' after all.......a nice mix of errors, failures, experiences, success and accomplishments.
Non-uniformity is also a good thing.....

I guess nothing in life is uniform, nothing is perfect after all.....I guess not even God.

Thinking..

The past week as been really sad. The phrase "Have a safe journey ! " has lost all its meaning. I guess we will never know if somebody will have a safe journey every time he or she travels.

Before the incident, I've always been against the idea of a god or some commanding force. Well, most of this protest was due to the fact that we were being forced into attending religious ceremonies.

Although against the idea, I've had agnostic beliefs in the afterlife. I always had this little bit of hope and now, I'm really hoping that this HOPE of mine is for real.

There has been a lot of research done on the topic of 'Afterlife', many of them diverting to NDE ( Near death experience). From my understanding, NDEs are events science cannot measure or explain hence giving skeptics a lot of something to chew on. The only way an NDE can support itself is when the person who experienced it, tells the people around him about events, conversations and action done at distant places and around him. Many of them were pronounced brain dead before waking up. These people, on a hospital bed, in an operation / near death state, wake up and actually give out information that is very precise. This leaves doctors and nurses stunned.

If such a thing as an 'NDE' is very true, then there has to be another dimension of existence, another realm, eventually pointing that WE, as humans, do contain paranormal feats within us.

Paranormal, psychic or use many of the paranormal terms, maybe there will always be things that science CANNOT explain.

If things like this are possible, then it gives a little hope to the existence of spirits and souls. Maybe them not able to contact us is a plus for who knows, if we knew there was an afterlife, people would just want to die or not live life to the fullest.

I will dwell and study this matter throughout my life. Hopefully, humanity gets a break through.

If we do lose a loved one, is there a possibility that the loved one is still with us in this other realm ?

I'm really missing my friend 'Harshini Poonja'....No one deserved to die on that plane and NOT her. I really didn't expect someone like her to go off like that....Why is it that all the good people die first ? If the reason of our god wanting them in heaven 'because they are pure or good' is put forward, then doesn't that make him a selfish being ?

Memories....

A sad day...

A very close friend of mine passed away today....
She was one of the passengers in the Air India Express flight from Dubai to Mangalore.

I really don't know how to react, I'm just dumbstruck right now....And it sucks I didn't even meet her before she left. I can't imagine what she felt....

I'm not a believer in Gods, although I do have some agnostic views about spirits and human paranormal capabilities. I just hope she( her soul) is there around to know how many people love her and will miss her.

Harshini,

I will always remember you ! You helped me in many ways !!! You helped me ALOT ! You even helped me that bit which made my life joyful. I'm really sorry I didn't buy you that ice cream you wanted. I feel really guilty. For the times I've been down, you pulled me up, for the times I got annoyed, you made me giggle.You will not be forgotten.

PS: You can own my soul when I get to the other side ok ? I can be your personal Jester.

Its so hard for me to digest it, you don't know how hard it is. You cannot just disappear like that, I don't know what to think.

I will always cherish and remember the times we spent together, even if it wasn't for that long.

Goodbye Harshini,

Close your eyes and sleep,
I will meet you on the other side.

:3

I'm sooo tired....Can I please post a blog tomorrow ? PleasE ??? I promise I'll like post one tomorrow !!

A new beginning....

Good morning, I'm happy :D ! Portal has finally downloaded on the Mac. I woke up and went directly to my Mac to play a level or two.



Reviews ?
The very fact that source runs on mac finally is a BIG achievement for its gaming sector. We will be seeing more source titles coming up in the near future or next few weeks. Although, Torchlight has been released for Mac through steam, so if you own torchlight then its a BIG 'Yay!' for you.s

Portal in-game was pretty neat though valve has to do bit more work on the performance point. I don't know if valve capped the fps to 30 but performance and fps slows down at some points. For example, opening up a portal and looking at it lowers fps.

When I'm at Windows 7 ( through bootcamp ) and turn on portal, I get a good 100+ fps at all high settings. I guess its just a start, Valve will surely send out updates like they normally do. I love Valve, they always look at gamers point of view.

A good work-around around this e is setting the 'Color Correction' OFF in the video setting.It increase the fps a bit, makes the game stay above 20 fps at least. I've heard Apple has announced support/update for OpenGL ? If so, I'm presuming in the future, Valve would send out updates and the game would be lot more smoother.

Normally, with any game I get, I always blast the settings to full and systematically tune down the settings to a more playable option.

I'm more of a quality than performance on the graphics side of gaming. Graphics on the mac for Portal look as they should.

Anywho, thats it for the portal review, again ending with a note that Valve has to do bit more improvements in the technical side of the game and its mac support and alls well.

This might just be the start of the downfall of Windows as a platform for Computer Gaming. Many awewsome titles have been announced for the Mac and I just cant wait.

I'm gonna go back to modelling stuff. Cya.